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August 27, 2008 Satire or Prophecy--You decide! Jeff Baird RightSideNews.com Today, February 22, 2009, President Obama signed an Executive Order banning toilet paper by 2011. Patterned after the Executive order to ban incandescent light bulbs from President Bush, President Obama has signed the ban on toilet paper.
Beginning on January 1st, 2011, Family Cloth or Family Wipes will be mandated by the Federal Government to replace toilet paper. Rush Limbaugh immediately filed suit objecting to Obama's bathroom invasion. A furious Limbaugh stated "Obama's over reaching arm of this Federal mandate is not getting even close to my glorious naked body and they have no business in my bathrooms!"
Here is some consumer information regarding the new material. (this is true) http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080424091000AAXmmhe How to Store Used Family Wipes' Excerpt: Some families find it easiest to put a small wet bag in their bathroom - either just laying on the floor near the toilet, or hanging from a nearby doorknob, cabinet knob, or hook. One friend actually hangs her bag from the toilet paper holder. My family keeps a small version of a diaper pail in the bathroom just for wipes. It's a 2-gallon stainless steel garbage bag with a step-pedal to open the lid. Wally loves depositing his wipes in there after we're done cleaning him up! http://living.wallypop.net/infohowtoclothwipes.html How to Wash Soiled Family Wipes' Excerpt: If you have kids in diapers, wash with the diapers. If you don't have kids in diapers, I recommend washing wipes separately from the rest of your laundry. Wash in hot, dry in the dryer. You may add whatever laundry additives you desire - chlorine bleach, oxygen bleach, tea tree oil, lavender oil, stain remover, whatever. http://living.wallypop.net/infohowtoclothwipes.html How to Use Cloth Wipes (Family Wipes, Toilet Wipes) (Sold on Wallypop.net - "Supporting a natural lifestyle" Excerpt: OK, this is not nearly as gross as you might be imagining. Give it a try, you'll see what I mean! But, really, you might be wondering, how do I use these? Using cloth wipes for urine-only visits to the bathroom is so simple it's hardly worth mentioning. Go, wipe, and then toss the wipe into whatever container you prefer. Using cloth wipes for other toilet visits is not any more difficult, but there is a certain ick factor involved. Consider how much waste you're willing to leave on your children's diapers or wipes when you toss them in the pail. Use the same standards for yourself. Shake, scrape, swish, or squirt off anything you don't want in your laundry, and then toss the wipe into the pail or container. (Personally speaking, we just wipe and toss in the pail.) http://living.wallypop.net/infohowtoclothwipes.html
The Latest "Green" Craze: Reusable Toilet Paper?! - How to Purchase Family (or Toilet) Wipes Excerpt: Family Wipes: $11 per dozen basic, $16 per dozen premium - "Alright," you say, "You've convinced me about cloth diapers, and I understand using cloth gift bags and napkins. But toilet paper??" For some people, making the switch to cloth toilet wipes is a huge leap, that's true. But it doesn't need to be! Using cloth toilet wipes actually has many advantages. For one, it's a lot more comfortable and soft on your most delicate body parts. It's also more economical, uses less paper, and saves you those late-night trips to the store. And cloth wipes can be used wet without any of the sopping disintegration that regular toilet paper is prone to. For a discussion of the practical aspects of using cloth toilet wipes, please check out our page detailing How to Use Cloth Wipes. http://living.wallypop.net/wipes.html Background on environmentalist's war on toilet paper
Excerpt: Ready to Rethink Toilet Paper for Earth Day?
Flashback: NYC Environmentalists Eliminate Toilet Paper in Effort to Save the Planet http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_042407/content/01125116.guest.html Trackback(0)
Comments (7)
  written by Anne Moyer, June 26, 2009
I'm not sure if commenter Andrew Thomas is being facetious or not, but ummm if he isn't "online" then how did he see this in the first place? Much less respond? Sorry, but I have friends with real disabilities and didn't find your comment enlightening, entertaining or relevant.
I am more than willing to believe that you thought (at some level) you were being humorous, but if your "situation" is true, then you did yourself an injustice with your comment, and if it isn't true, then shame on you for the willingness to be so contemptuous of disabled who must live spartan lives only to find people like you mocking them. Regarding your financial circumstance, if you are disabled, there are (at the very least) 3 agencies who's sole purpose is to provide financial a*sistance to those in need, and no less than 5 charitable organizations who will provide similar a*sistance. Since you were able to be on-line long enough to find the above article, write and submit the comment, then perhaps you should consider: stop wasting time with ineffective comments here, use the online time to find those places with a*sistance for you. I can't believe that IF the best you can manage for yourself is what you describe above that you would waste your time writing comments instead of spending the time looking for how to better your circumstance.
 written by Chris Smith, August 28, 2009
ann moyer, why did you use an asterisk to spell a*sistance? if it's because you didn't want to spell out the word "a*s" that's sad. you should stop critiquing peoples comments when they are obviously posting it as a way of offending people like you. nobody cares if you have friends with real disabilities either. too bad we can't all be a saint like you, ann
 written by Donna Hiles, September 26, 2009
I have just finished reading all Executive Orders signed by Obama since taking office and there is not one that even mentions toilet paper, let alone banning it. In fact there aren't even any being signed by the President on Feb 22nd as this article purports. With all the serious and dangerous changes truly being done to the country by this administration, can we please stick to the facts? They are scary enough.
Link to all Executive Orders since Franklin Roosevelt http://www.archives.gov/federal-register/executive-orders/disposition.html
 written by AlaskanInfidel, November 13, 2009
True enough Donna...but...even though it was totally ridiculous and insane...you had to check to make sure.
Obama is capable of any insanity and your search to find the truth proves it.
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I HAVE AN IN HOME CARE GIVER LESS THEN 12 HOURS PER MONTH. THAT IS A LOT OF OLD SMELLY T-SHIRT IN A PILE OF LAUNDRY PILE UP THAT IS AN WILL MAKE MY OF 150.00 PER MONTH IN COIN LAUNDRY. I GET AN AVERAGE OF $476.00 PER MONTH 250.00 OF THAT IS RENT. MOST ALL OF MY FOOD COMES FROM FOOD BANKS. I DO NOT USE VIDEO GAMES NEW COMPUTERS NOR CAN I AFFORD OR BIG SCREENS I MIGHT SPEEND $9.00 FOR ONE MOVIE OUT I AM NOT EVEN ABLE TO HAVE A CONVERTER BOX MY TV.