Written by RSN
Nancy P: the "Green General of All things with Wisdom" has just introduced from her vacation resort a self-charging device for your rechargable car, which you must purchase (if your income is even close to 6 digits). This new charging device can totally recharge your hybrid vehicle in less than 8 hours when you trot gently at 4 miles per hour for a one hour charge, just enough to go to work on a short commute.
The additional benefits include cardiovascular exercise, loss of "fat people" in the census data, and a lowered cost to entitled health care through reduced cases of diabetes, and other "fat diseases" according to "General P". The savings to the nation will be the TRICKLE OUT effect, never before seen, but with an estimated savings of 1.2 trillion dollars per year in health costs.
The estimated cost per "Human Wheel" charger is 989.99 per adult and will include a full 10 year extended service plan, with a mandatory renewal rate of a reduced cost, prepaid of only 49.00 per year, adjusted for the rate of inflation, and not immune to further ear marked tax, but never to exceed the 20% maximum allowable tax on food.
The RatWheel -- renamed "HumanWheel" to meet PC requirements. As General "P" and her Comrades study this, they will travel to Russia and explore implemenation strategies that have been so very successful there.
This is only half of the excellent and inovatiive policy set forth by the vacationing big "P".
The "Genral P" answered brief questions on her iPhone, "while soaking in a butane powered portable 500 gallon hot tub in the N. Pole, while watching Polar Bears mate and chowing down on seal burgers and pole fries...Huh?
During breaks and lunch, the GREEN employee can recharge for the return trip. These RATWHEEL rooms will be set up alongside the Muslim Prayer Rooms, similar to the Tyson Chicken layout. The local PC patrol prays that Tyson will enter the Pork Market soon, so they can increase their take on legal actions regarding the intolerant Americans on American Soil.
SIDE EFFECTS: C02 Emission through mouthpiece will be captured and taxed at the Going Rate, which will be based on the future speculated Value. If employee has a 401k, employer will match the C02 Tax-Rate. (Copyright 2008 Right Side News)