The Republican Party seems intent on running Senator John McCain as its
candidate for president in this year’s election. Although it will be
clear to most intellectually honest observers that McCain would be a
better fit on the Democrats’ ticket, we as Republicans are being
pressured to conform to the suggestions of the establishment and
support Senator McCain.
We are told that we are throwing away the rights that so many men died for if we do not vote for McCain. The RNC has its reasons for supporting Senator McCain and those of us that oppose his nomination had better fall in line.
This is intended to help those conservatives that have trouble coming to terms with the impending catastrophe that is a John McCain candidacy, do their duty as Republicans. (Disclaimer: This duty is very likely contradictory to your principles and values, but remember the RNC is smarter than you.)
You have the right to vote, but this right has limitations. You must vote Republican. Any votes cast for independents, Constitution Party, or like candidates will be viewed as betrayal of the RNC, The Wall Street Journal, La Raza, Linda Chavez, and The New York Times.
There are several months until the general election, so you have time to prepare for the unpleasant task the RNC has assigned you. You may want to leave dairy products un-refrigerated for several days before consuming them. You may want to bathe with less frequency than usual. Record Senator McCain’s speeches and replay them while tightening a c-clamp on your non-voting hand. This hopefully will numb you to the things this man says and the things he will do. Anything that makes you nauseated or uncomfortable will help you prepare for the act you are being asked to commit.
Perhaps submitting to the pressure and voting against your conscience will not be enough in the eyes of the RNC. We must remember that the media outlets that currently support Senator McCain will be solely supporting the Democrat nominee after the primaries and the RNC in their infinite wisdom must know this, so you may be expected to actively participate in campaigning for the man who wants to grant amnesty to millions of illegals. Assuming you are a decent person and even though the act you are engaging in is less than respectable, you likely would like to maintain some integrity. The following slogans and campaign statements should enable you to maintain a sense of honesty:
“John McCain suffered bravely for our country as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.”
“John McCain pledges to fight pork barrel spending and to call out those in congress that try to push through ear-marks.”
“John McCain is strongly pro-life as long as it doesn’t interfere with the election of his liberal pro-choice cohorts as evidenced by his legal action against Wisconsin Right To Life.”
“John McCain will be tough on our enemies unless they enter our country across the southern border, in which case they are hard working people our economy needs.”
“John McCain will be strong in the War On Terror… with two exceptions. He will not drip water down a terrorist’s nose to save innocent American lives and he wants to put detained terrorists in our jails, where they will spread their message and receive tax payer funded defense attorneys.”
“John McCain will fight what some perceive to be anthropogenic global warming by imposing carbon taxes on American industries.”
“John McCain will support the growing economy… in China, by imposing carbon taxes on American industries.”
“John McCain is for the working man! His plans will give you more free time and possibly less carbon in your air.”
“John McCain wants there to be no undue influence of money in politics, something he knows about from personal experience.”
“John McCain: Less Liberal than Clinton and Obama… on some things.”
Remember that this is mandated by the RNC, who gave us Ford and Dole. We must do as we are instructed or face the repercussions. It may feel like forced prostitution or something equally dirty, but we have a duty as Republicans to support whatever excuse for a candidate with which we are presented. We owe it to the RNC to cast a vote for their man regardless of the fact that he considered being John Kerry’s running mate and the fact that he is nearly always wrong. We must remember that our opinions don’t count and we must keep them to ourselves.
RightSideNews.com: Sam Pierce is the Illinois State Director for Hunter
for President 2008! He manages a blog and is a great patriot and
contributor to the cause.
Conservative Values Illinois